In the Beginning...... Carnoustie
A young boys sad songs of loss and redemption

Growing up in a seaside town on the windswept eastern coast line of Angus in Scotland gave me a certain outlook on life. In those days the 60's and 70's we had alot of freedom to roam wild... and we did. It was a less paranoid time, us kids would disappear for a whole day on our bikes and plunge headlong into health and safety nightmares and all without mobile phones, how DID we survive all the dangers of the world I wonder? I guess it was a good and relatively safe place to grow up but it was also a cold and unforgiving environment. It was a time of snot and bunged up noses, allergies and asthma attacks, injections, inhalers and pills called 'franol' that tasted like shit.

I also had the misfortune to have my dad leave home when I was 5 and it left me with a rather large chip on my shoulder. Years later I started writing songs of loss and rejection..of course these feelings of abandonment projected perfectly onto my other relationships too. I was also raised with more than my fair share of religious indoctrination and joined the church choir aged 8 where I remained until I was 13 or 14.. phew, a long haul but it saw me through puberty...and I learned to sing harmony. My first reaction to all this was rebellion, I hated the establishment with gusto and everything it stood for, after all the world had done me no favours up until then and my school had no pigeon hole to put the likes of me in. As luck would have it the 'Punk' revolution was just beginning to sweep Britain, in fact the Sex Pistols 'Anarchy in the UK' was the first single I bought! 'Smash the system' was the order of the day which I embraced whole-heartedly although it clashed rather with my deep rooted pacifist instincts..oh the inner conflict.

Anyway, these here songs were recorded on a stereo cassette deck with a stereo mike in my bedroom in Wallace Street, Carnoustie. I learned to play guitar after my little sis brought one home a little nylon stringer from school oneday (to learn)..I immediately nabbed it and got myself a book..also my good mate Andy from the choir was learning too and I think that helped us both to progress faster, trading licks and trying to come up with tricky techniques to impress each other. A good thing a bit of healthy competition. Oh yes and later, electric guitars..Queen's 'Brighton Rock' was my party piece. We had a heavy metal band called 'Pegasus' all Kay fuzz pedals and white noise..you can see some pictures of our first gig over there <- supporting 'Dead August' and also with the local punk band 'Alien Culture'.

I must now apologize unreservedly for spouting biblical tracts at people and espousing self-righteous christian rhetoric at those I perceived to be 'enjoying' themselves too much! Those were my embarrassing Christian enlightenment days. In retrospect it was perfectly natural that I should find my self trapped in that role given my church/mother guilt brainwashing programme. Add to that a girlfriend who was a minister's daughter and you have a recipe for righteous ranting par excellence...makes me cringe to think about it really. Luckily I got over that once I realized how annoying and tiresome it must be for others but it took me a while..sorry everyone.

So back to these songs..many are about the melancholia of lost love..you know..girlfriend trouble..those teenage years provided a lovely deep well of lyrical inspiration as I struggled to comprehend the swirling maelstrom of self-conciousness, alienation and generally frustrated urges of youth.

It's important to remember that the teenage years are a vivid and totally intense time of life when things just don't make any sense and one is being kicked from pillar to post by hormones, drugs, girls, beer and peer pressure. Add to that the fact that you are suffering a huge personality crisis coupled with existential dread and is it any wonder that kids sometime get out of order?..I think they do pretty well on the whole..

It's easy to be over-critical of young people especially in light of the London riots and suchlike but it's always been that way and adults just simply forget the nihilistic agenda of youth ....that is if those adults were ever truly allowed to roam wild and free and many weren't...you can listen to those unfortunate and priviledged souls spouting off on radio 4 most days of the week.

Influences? Bowie and David Sylvian..you can hear the latter in my affected vocal inflections.